On Monday I was trying to get my freak on
With a couple twins from Washington DC
One of them wore the American flag
The other sang "Land of the Free"
Me, well, I'm not that patriotic
But the sisters really didn't seem to mind
When the sun rose the following morning
They did a red, white, and blue bump and grind

So far, so good
Things were looking so bleak
But it's been a semi-interesting week

On Wednesday I was riding on the subway
Just minding my own business like I do
When this skinheaded psycho
With the brains of a bat
Called me a "good for nothing, dirty Jew"
I assured him I'd showered just
That morning
After killing and dismembering his mom
I whipped him with my pistol
Threw him on the tracks
And sent him back to Vietnam

So far, so good
Now I'm on some kind of streak
Yes, it's been a semi-interesting week

On Friday I was lunching with amigos
At this taco stand at Normandy and Vine
When a big silver saucer
With a green flashing light
Landed on the Hollywood sign
I thought it might be the second coming
Or maybe just some special effects
When in walked Father Hubbard
With his boy Tom Cruise
Reeking of some science fiction sex

So far, so good
Things were looking so bleak
Yes it's been a semi-interesting week
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Thanks to (Steven Whitten) for correcting these lyrics. Jun 28, 2008