(Lennon/McCartney)

Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
Science in the home
Late nights all alone with a test-tube ohh oh oh oh
Maxwell Edison majoring in medicinem
Calls her on the phone
Can I take you out to the pictures, Joan?
But as she's getting ready to go
A knock comes on the door

Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down upon her head
Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that she was dead

Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again
Teacher gets annoyed
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene
She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away
So he waits behind
Writing 50 times "I must not be so" oh oh oh
But when she turns her back on the boy
He creeps up from behind

Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down upon her head
Do do do do do
Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that she was dead

P.C. Thirty-One said "We caught a dirty one"
Maxwell stands alone
Painting testimonial pictures ohh oh oh oh
Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery
Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free)
The judge does not agree and he tells them so oh oh oh
But as the words are leaving his lips
A noise comes from behind

Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down upon his head
Do do do do do
Bang, Bang, Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that he was dead
Wow wow wow oh!
Do do do do do

Silver hammer Max