The blim holes in my shell suit
Joined into an absolute
And fell apart one day

They stitched me up in Everton
Then they took me to a surgeon:
Lost on penalties

Do do do do do do do do do do do do
Mario man (X4)

I married at the altar
The village idiots daughter
Oh! Lucky me

We honeymooned in Cyprus
That's where she caught the virus
I flew home alone

So I bought myself a chip pan
And I sailed it to the Isle of Man
For a holiday

Struggling in a vortex
With my jacket made of Gore-tex
It fits wonderfully

Do do do do do do do do do do do do
Mario man (X4)

Zap! Zap!
Wham! Wham!
Says the Mario man today
(He's played so hard he's got blisters on his fingers)

Do do do do do do do do do do do do
Mario man (X4)