All my days
I live with my disgrace
Im afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear

See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I dont have a matching set
Its a part of me
That just aint there
Please, dont stare

Well Im a gambling man with out two dice
Im like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But Im half a man
Yeah, Im half a man

Wanna die
end it all, just call it quits
I cant find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear ball one?

Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one thats there must feel so sad
Hes a lonely man

Well Im a marathon runner with just one leg
Im a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
Im half a man

Well Im a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And Im a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And Im a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
Im just half a man
Yeah, Im half a man