Lyrics: dorothy fields music: jerome kern

A fine romance, with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But youre as cold as yesterdays mashed potatoes
A fine romance, you wont nestle
A fine romance, you wont wrestle
I might as well play bridge
With my old maid aunt
I havent got a chance
This is a fine romance

A fine romance, with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend this is
We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder
But we just fizz like parts of a seidlitz powder (*)
Yes, a fine romance, with no glitches
A fine romance, with no bitches
Youre just as hard to land as the isle de france
I havent got a chance
This is a fine romance

A fine romance, my good fellow
You take romance, and Ill take jello
Youre calmer than the seals
In the arctic ocean
At least they flap their fins
To express emotion
A fine romance with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
Ive never mussed the crease
In your blue serge pants
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance

Yes, a fine romance, my dear, duchess
Two old fogeys, who need crutches
True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has
But we dont have the thrills that the march of time has, ba-ba-da-day
A fine romance, my good woman
My strong, age in the wood, woman
You never give the orchids I sent a glance
No, you like cactus plants, ha ha
This is a fine romance

A fine romance, my dear duchess
Two old fogeys, who need crutches

True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has
You know louis, we dont have half the thrills that the march of time has,

You telling me; fine romance, my very good woman
My strong, aged in the wood, woman
You never give the orchids I sent a glance

No I prefer cactus plants

This is a fine romance!