(difford/tilbrook)
Warning: these lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. they represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see.

Well youd better not tell Ive had a good night
Me and this bird shes a bit of alright
Dancing to the sounds as the arches get searched
She is the business for a bit of old skirt
Its so dirty when its in the right mood
Give it some brandy and some chinese food
Take her for a spin with your stereo jack
Tell her shes the best girl youve ever had
Give it some gold to put round its neck
Bet here old man puts you on the deck
But its so dirty with me - it so dirty with me
Its so dirty with me - its so dirty with me

Well youd better watch out here comes a tornado
Youll end up looking like a mashed potato
If her old man gets word of whats going on here
Youll end up at the bottom of someones next beer

Well Ive got a bud aint frightened by shooters
So lets have a drink for a couple of troopers
No her old man wont know Ive been giving it some
Unless you tell him the news but we know that aint done