I thought that I had everybody on my side,
but I went and blew it all sky high.
And now she won't even spare a passing glance
All just because I ripped my pants.

When big Larry came 'round just to put him down,
Spongebob turned into a clown,
And no girl ever wants to dance
With a fool who went and ripped his pants.

I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse,
But the pain feels so much worse.
'Cause windin' up with no one is a lot less fun
Than a burn from the sun or sand in your buns.

Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget.
So listen and you won't regret.
Be true to yourself, don't miss your chance,
And you won't end up like the fool who ripped his paaaaaaants.