Is the Richard Gere-Gerbil story true?
Who came third in World War Two?
Did Sooty sleep with Sue?
These things I think about,
When I'm out,
With you

What are the holes in biros for?
Which one's which in the Corrs?
Did Geoff Hurst really score?
Coz frankly you're a bore,
And im not,

And if it's leaving season,
Your second on the bill,
If you won't leave me baby,
I'll find someone who will,
I tried love, I'm sorry,
I tried l-love,

Does God ever get it wrong?
Where has Gary Barlow gone?
Why is Christmas day so long?
It just goes on and on ,
And on,
Like you,

And if it's leaving season,
You're second on the bill,
If you won't leave me baby,
I'll find someone who will,
I tried love, I'm sorry,
I tried l-love,

Doo doo doo doo doo do doo dooo doo

I tried love, I'm sorry,
I tried love,

Why is there ketchup on my sleeve?
D'ya think Adam fancied Eve?
What if Eve could not conceive,
And he had to breed with Steve,
We'd all be GAY!