Step right up, gather round
Greatest salesman in town
Selling something seldom sold
Step up, step up, step up behold
Dead mice for sale, they're going fast
Like hell...Last dead mouse now don't be shy
There's never been a better time to buy

Last dead mouse but I'll get more
I'm a businessman and an entrepreneur
Folks say I'm nuts, they can say what they please
You've got to be crazy with prices like these
No overhead so I can keep down the cost
I make my own hours 'cause I'm my own boss
I believe in my product, I love what I sell
Last dead mouse well that's why I yell

Step right up, ladies and gents
Last dead mouse costs fifty cents
It's a steal at any price
Going once, going once, going once, going twice
Half a buck, last in stock
Be the first one on your block
No need to walk, no need to feed
Satisfaction guaranteed

Nice and easy now, nice and easy now, nice and easy now
Last dead mouse