Things don't look to good to me
I think I'm out of luck,
and all because of swollen glands,
and just one stupid f***

Now this here dude came from Alabama ,
and that's not where it's at,
and now your jock's been chasing me round
with a great big baseball bat.

Don't kick my ass
Don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat, Hey!

Don't kick my ass
Don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat.

Well I was in the mood for some lovin but,
not a wrestlin match with some big hoss.
And this here dude he was an uncool cat
and he beat me `bout my head with a baseball bat.

Don't kick my ass
Don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat, Hey!

Don't kick my ass
Don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat.

Now I woke up from being beat to the ground
and started scratchin' around like a blue tick hound,
and I was aghast at what I found!
The latest social disease that's been going around.
Aw F***!

I'll beat your ass
I'll beat your ass
I'll beat your ass
With a baseball bat