Poet for sale, a real live one, yeah.
Yes a real live person for sale
I have my values anyway,
Clothing no extra charge of course

Buy me now, go on
Buy me now, save yourself.
Get a gnome for your home
Or an angel in a taxi-cab
Or a corpse in a London bus
Or a fairy in your dairy milking petty cash.

All you gotta do is buy me and I'm yours, all yours.
No extra charge and my hair is real I tell you, its real.
I beat as I sleep as I dream.

You could have me today, no deposit and I'm interest free too
Just free. Isn't that enough?
Take me and I will love you, lurve you, love you, love you
And then, eat you, eat you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
Thank you, thank you, thank you
Thank you, thank you, thank you
Wank you, swallow you whole.
Master, your word is law
Wipe your feet on my mouth and I will wait at your door.
Am I really wanted? Am I? Am I wanted?
Is my head to be rented till demented?
Look, I'm no brothel full of philosophic muscle
I'm no menstruating minstrel in a bedroom with no headroom
I'm no rotten ill-gotten corpse of cold glutton to be bought cheap
So piss off purchasers!

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Thanks to (Haze Fields) for correcting these lyrics. Mar 12, 2008