At the koc local 313
Theres a fat man standing by the soda machine
And he knows, he knows, he knows
Life can be funny

He calls the hair salon says put loretta on
Cause the mall just called and said the last guys gone
And I know, I know, God knows
We need the money

And hes a big red cherry
But its hard to be merry
When the kids are all laughing
Saying hey its jerry garcia
Aint he cute?
The man in the santa suit

And all the moms in town bring their brats around
And they cant sit still or keep their rootbeer down
Now its up, hey how bout that
It looks like a milkshake

Now jimmys grown this year says mommy quick come here
Santas sweaty and he smells like beer
And he says, kid shut your mouth
You give me a headache

And hes jolly and hairy
But its hard to be merry
When the guys at the bar
Say he looks like a fairy
But hes doing it just for the loot
The man in the santa suit

[break] verse x2

And hes a big red cherry
Hes jolly and hairy
Everyones laughing, but he doesnt care
He stays cool
Aint he cute?
The man in the santa suit

[fade out with intro]