(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're having the time of our lives.

(Stewie) (Take it dog...)

(Brian) We're quite a pair of partners,
Just Like Thelma and Louise.
'cept you're not six feet tall

(Stewie) Yes, and your breasts don't reach your knees.
(Brian) (Give it time.)

(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island,
We're certainly going in style.

(Brian) I'm with an intellectual, who craps inside his pants.
(Stewie) How dare you. At least I don't leave urine stains on all the household plants.
(Brian) (Oh, pee jokes)

(Both) We've traveled a bit and we've found,
Like a masochist in Newport we're Rhode Island bound.

((Brian) Crazy travel conditions, huh?
(Stewie) First class or no class
(Brian) Whoa, careful with that joke, it's an antique)

(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're not going to stop till we're there
(Brian) Maybe for a beer.

(Brian) Whatever dangers we may face, we'll never fear or cry
(Stewie) That's right, until we're syndicated Fox will never let us die. (Please!)

(Both) We're off on the road to Rhode Island,
The home of that old campus swing.

(Brian) We may pick up some college girls, and picnic on the grass.
(Stewie) We'd tell you more, but we'd have the censors on our ass.
(Brian) (Yikes!)

(Both) We certainly do get around.
Like a bunch of renegade pilgrims
Who are thrown out of Plymouth colony.
We're Rhode Island bound.
Or like a group of college freshmen
who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown!

We're Rhode Island Bound..

(fade out)