Couple of guys sittin' around drinkin'
Down at the Starlight Bar
One of 'em says you know
I've been thinking
Other one says, that won't get you too far
He says, this your life and welcome to it
It's just workin' and drinkin' and dreams
Ad on TV says "Just do it"
Hell if I know what that means

The secret of life is a good cup of coffee
The secret of life is keep your eye on the ball
The secret of life is a beautiful woman
And Marilyn stares down from the barroom wall

You and me we're just a couple of zeros
Just a couple of down-and-outs
But movie stars and football heroes
What have they got to be unhappy about?
So they turn to the bartender,
"Sam, what do you think?
What's the key that unlocks that door?"
Sam don't say nothin' just wipes off the bar
And he pours them a couple more

'Cause the secret of life is in Sam's martinis
The secret of life is in Marilyn's eyes
The secret of life is in
Monday night football
Rooling Stones records and mom's apple pies

Sam looks up from his Sunday paper
Says, boys you're on the wrong track
The secret of life is there ain't no secret
And you don't get your money back (hey)

The secret of life is gettin' up early
The secret of life is stayin' up late
The secret of life is try not to hurry
But don't wait...don't wait
The secret of life is a good cup of coffee
The secret of life is keep your eye on the ball
The secret of life is to find the right woman
The secret of life is nothin' at all
(oh nothin' at all)
The secret of life

Couple of guys sittin' around drinkin'
Down at the Starlight Bar
One of 'em says you know I've been thinkin'
Other one says, that won't get you too far
That won't get you too far