Hi!
Oringinal bad boy on the case cover your face
Came in the place blowed and sprayed Puffy with mace
I laced your weed with insect repellent better check the smellin'
Eminem starts with an E, better check the spellin' with a capital
Sombody grab me a snapple
I got an asthma capsule trapped in my adam's apple
Sombody dropped me on my head and I'm sure that my mother did it
But the bitch won't admit it was her
I slit her stomach open with a scalpel when she was six months
And said I'm ready now bitch, ain't you feelin' these kicks cunt?
The world ain't ready for me yet, I can tell
I'll probably have to settle next to the furnace in hell
I'm sick of the sperm cells with syphalis germs
And I'm hotter than my dick is when I piss and it burns
I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach
And vomit so much blod that your clothes stick to you from it
Hit you in the head with a brick till you plummet
If ya'll don't like me you can suck my dick till you numb it
And all that gibberish that you were spittin' you need to kill it
And your style is like dying in my sleep, I don't feel it

(Chorus)
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me?
Is fuckin' crazy (Hello? Hi)

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me?
Is fuckin' crazy (Hello? Hi)

My mic's grillin' you, staring you down with a grin to grin
I'm Eminem, you're a fag at a women's gym
I'm Slim, so Shady is really you're fake alias
To save me with in case I get chased by space aliens
A braniac with a cranium packed full of more uranium than a maniac Saudi Arabian
A highly cumbustible head, spasmatic strapped to a Craftmatic adjustable bed
Laid up in the hospital in critical condition
I flat lined, jumped up and ran for the mortician
High speed, IV full of Thai weed, lookin' Chinese
With my knees stuck together like siamese
Twins, joined at the groin like lesbians
Pins and needles hyperdermic needles and pins
I hope God forgives me for my sins
It probably all depends on if I keep on killin' my girlfriends

(Chorus)
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me?
Is fuckin' crazy (Hello? Hi)

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me?
Is fuckin' crazy (Hello? Hi)

Last night I OD'd on rush, mushrooms and dust
And got rushed to the hospoital to get my system flushed (shucks)
I'm an alcoholic, and that's all I can say
I call in to work cause all I do is frolick and play
I swallow grenades, take a bottle of water a day
A Tylenol 3, and talk about how violent I'll be
Gimme eleven Excedrin and my head'll spin
Medicine'll get me revvin' like a 747 jet engine
Scratch my balls till I shred the skin
Doctor check this rash, look how red it's been
It's probably Aids, forget it then
I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows
That don't even make sense, like dikes using dildos
So reach in your billfold for ten duckets
And pick up your Slim Shady shit is on rucus
Somethin' somethin' somethin', I get weeded
My daughter scribbled over that rhyme, I couldn't read it

(Chorus)
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me?
Is fuckin' crazy (Hello? Hi)

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me?
Is fuckin' crazy (Hello? Hi)

Hi! Something's not right, I'm sorry, I'm mentally retarded
Slim shady, I think that's my name
Rucus Records, fuckin' crazy
You hear us? We're fuckin' crazy!
All of us
Hi, Bye
Night, something

(Thanks to Harry for these lyrics)