B-side of smash it up 7 (chiswick/big beat records 1979)


(vanian/scabies/sensible/ward)

Here we go now!


Im a villan Im a rogue

Ill nick your wallet or garden gnome

Im a burglar Im a cad

An open window Im in your home


Ill have your tools or kiddies toys

And Im not safe - a joy of joys

Ill be the gasman or a toad

Ill have your telly or garden hose


While Im scoping in the dark

Ill strap your dog so he wont bark

I wont disturb your only dreams

But if you wake up theres no screams


Ill nick anything removable

From the qe2 to the toilet paper in the houses of parliment

Ill even have the milk off your doorstep

Or the skin off a baby seals back


cause Im a real villan (played backwards)


Ill steal the paper or the milk

Or warn your neighbours or the bill

Im a stealer Im a crook

Read about me in michs book


Burglary is a life for me

Burglary is a life for me

People say that crime dont pay

I drink champagne every day


And the good lord said thou shall not steal

There is only one path and that is the straight and narrow

Its a bit too bleeding straight and a bit too narrow for my liking


Ok gov its a fair cop

Throw on the bracelets

Chink chink oh God Im nicked


I sentence you to six months...

Take him away