[If you haven‘t started this nasty habit, don‘t start.
But if you’re hopelessly addicted, might as well sing about it!]

Copenhagen: Makes me feel so good.
Copenhagen: The way I know it should.
Put a little chew in my mouth
Go spitting and slobbering all around the house, that
Copenhagen: Makes me feel so good.

I took a chew just the other night
and it made me feel so fine.
So I grabbed my honey-baby
and I pinched her ol’ behind.
She said, “You better spit out that chewing tobacca’
if you wanna kiss me on the big ol’ smacker, that
Copenhagen: Makes me feel so good.

Copenhagen: Makes me feel so good.
Copenhagen: The way I know it should.
Put a little chew in my mouth
Go hackin’ and gaggin’ all around the house, that
Copenhagen: Makes me feel so good.

*I was sitting in a barroom and
*I had me a little dip
*Drinking beer and talkin’ but
*I had no place to spit.
*So I spit a stream out on the floor
*and the bouncer flung me out the door, that
*Copenhagen: Makes me feel so good.

It’s a cure-all, too.
Cures fits, warts and freckles;
Coughs, colds, runny nose.
Guaranteed never to rip, run or snag.
Makes conception a wonder
And child-birthin’ a pleasure.
That’s Copenhagen: Makes me feel so good.

[*Chris, this sure beats singing all those old love songs]
[What are you talking about, Toby, this is a love song!]