Driving with a yellow dog, I-95
He's got a smile on his face and big shiny eyes
Up at a decent hour, I never ate yet
Got a little Johnny Cash in the old tape deck
Nothing in the trunk but some base ball gloves
a pair of jumper cables and a set of golf clubs
blanket on the back seat we're in rough shape
sunroof held on with a bit of duck tape
Looking for a gas station, better make a lift
Fill it up with regular, I need to take a piss
sexy girl air freshener, snacks and a pinwheel
top up the fluids, clean the bugs off the windshield
not a care in the world, not a how, and a why
no destination, not a cloud in the sky
back on the road not a moment too soon
dish ran away with some other spoon

wicked & weird I'm a road hog with an old dog
singing slow songs trying to hold on
wicked & weird I'm a rat fich
tryin to practice doing back flips on your mattress
(X2)

Hole in the muffler, ghost on the shoulder
cough drops, loose change in the beverage holder
to roll down the window you gotta use a winch
I'm thinking about brushing up on my French
Right there in the glove box, if you should look
You'll find 40 parking tickets
And a copy of the Good Book
Don't bother looking, you'll never find me
I'm starting from scratch and leaving trouble behind me

wicked & weird I'm a road hog with an old dog
singing slow songs trying to hold on
wicked & weird I'm a rat fich
tryin to practice doing back flips on your mattress
(X2)

(wicked and- wicked and- wicked and weird)
(wicked and- wicked and- wicked and weird)

Christ almighty, there's a rattle in the wheel well
Dog fell asleep and man, I don't feel well
But all I need is a half decent breakfast
And I'll be back at it, dirty and reckless
5 o'clock shadow, lips like mud flaps
hands like eagle's talons, eyes like hub caps
The further I get, I keep going faster
Whispers in the wind, cows in the pasture
I have no plans and nothin to prove either
I eat out of a bag and sleep in a movie theatre
The highway's a story teller, I just write it down
Already been beaten, there's no way to fight it now
I just kick back and keep warm on the cold days
(And) laugh 'cause it ain't like it was in the old days
I figure when I make it to the heavenly gates
They'll be working on my car and playing 78's

wicked & weird I'm a road hog with an old dog
singing slow songs trying to hold on
wicked & weird I'm a rat fich
tryin to practice doing back flips on your mattress