Goodbye to all my friends I've known
And the travel agent I trusted.
I'm ridin' along on this beat up old plane.
Look out the window, all the rivits are rusted.
As the ground crew pushes us backwards
On that rickety L10-11
I'm feelin' around for that floatation device
And when the safety film is showing, I'm paying close attention...
Beat up old jet liner
Hope you got a tune up today...
Oh, Beat up old jetliner
Did they sneak you past the FAA
Bouncing around in a thunder cloud...
Landing gear won't come down.
My seat back is up, and my belt is on
I see the fire crews sprayin' foam on the ground.
If I get to my final destination
I know the next flight will surely be free...
But Don't think I'll go back up in that
Piece of shit just to save a few pennies...
Beat up old jet liner
Don't carry me too far today...
Oh, Give me a fresh airliner
I dont care what I have to pay.
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah.
Oh beat up old jetliner
Dont carry me too far today...
Oh, beat up old jetliner
'Cause its home that I'd rather stay.

(Voice over of pilot): "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captian speaking. I just turned off the no smoking sign 'cause I figure, Hell if the plane is smoking, why shouldn't you?"
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Thanks to (Mathieu) for correcting these lyrics. Jun 17, 2008