When I was a boy
There was no limit on what I could eat
Shake after shake after shake after shake
Followed by all kinds of red meat
Metabolism runnin' around so fast
My body never gained no weight
That pissed off all my Momma's friends
And made my big-boned sister irate
But now I'm a man
And all that food frolicking has caused my ego to hurt
'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone
I'm too embarrassed to remove my shirt
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
And all them cookies I been munching lately
My feets are becoming difficult to see
I believe it was my Daddy
Who led to this eating disease
By calling me "The Little Candy-ass"
When I couldn't finish a burger with cheese
Or maybe it was my Momma
Who got me addicted to the wrong foods
Only when I gobbled down every chicken cutlet
Would I get to see Momma's good moods
They said eat this, they said eat that
To stay skinny there was no chance
And now when I walk I hear corduroy
Even though I ain't wearing pants
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
(You fat fuck, you fat fuck)
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
(You fat fuck, you fat fuck)
And all that ice cream I been eatin' lately
My chins alone weigh 203
The diet starts tomorrow!
I have a grapefruit for breakfast
For lunch a bowl of white rice
Dinnertime it's a saltless potato
I ain't allowed no spice
If this diet's gonna work
Tonight I can't eat no more
"Just go to sleep," I say to myself
As I close the bedroom door
Two in the morning, I wake up to piss
My belly's hungry and achin'
Tiptoe to the kitchen, fuck the diet
Bring on the chips flavored with bacon
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Make a tub o' shit outta me
And all them crumb-cakes I been eating lately
I shoulda bought stock in Sara Lee